life

what if..

what if i like your smile..
i like your company..
what if i'm more myself when i'm with you..
when we talk of anything..

what if i enjoy our ride home together
more than i'd like to admit..
what if i enjoy teasing you about our differences,
yet secretly wish that those differences won't bother you..

what if im scared to explore what this is all about
yet im excited about all it's possibilities...
what if you'll see how much of a wreck i was before
but i've worked so hard to change..

what if i'm alone in this..

what if i'm not... what if you know all these as well,
will WE have the courage to say it out loud..

what if.

restlessness

there is a nagging feeling in my heart that has kept me preoccupied this whole day. I'm at work, i have a project that's almost due. i have a write up to finish to include in the concept proposal and yet i am at a loss.

there is a restlessness in me that seems to be drowning out my voice, my thoughts, my being. a restlessness i could not define..

it's irritating. it's puzzling. i'm tired to figure it out. i just want rest. maybe in a peaceful slumber i could dream of happy things.. that could cure my restlessness.

i don't know. i just hope.

Burst

my first painting in a long while...

falling..

i have fallen far from the throne you have set for me...

i fell for fear took hold of me far more than i was willing to admit..

i made wrong choices.. i made cowrdly decisions..

everything failed me, not of their own doing but of my own shortcomings..

i fell.

i'm down.

how could i get up?

you said, it's as easy as standing up after a stumble,

but in truth, "getting up" means-

having the heart to face your fears,

be humble enough to swallow your pride,

and opening yourself up to the idea that - "we are not perfect. we were meant to fall, to learn."

naivete

i walk in this streets unaware of the people around me..
no thought of darkness.. no worries of hate..
yet as the road turned narrow, so did the cool air turn in a faint breeze..
"where am i?" i begin to wonder..
"what road am i walking?" i questioned myself..

i don't know where..
i don't know where..

i can't blame my feet, for they did not think which way i turned..
i could not blame the road, for they were there long before i came..

it's all me..

just me.